Sunday, February 8, 2009

Hyperion: Warner Brother's Plot

I'm not on the inside with this one but I suspect that the information being released about this movie is part of an orchestrated attempt by Warner Brothers to break the collective will of the movie going public in the vein of "Mystery Science Theater."
The key is to first find a great book or idea, release information that makes it sound like a good idea, such as saying you're going to make a movie based on Hyperion, then after everyone is sufficiently excited you say that you're going to have the movie cover the first two books, get the director from "The Day the Earth Stood Still" and a writer that hasn't worked since 2002.
It's brilliant, far better than the "Ace Ventura Jr. : Pet Detective" plot which involved melting the brains of the audience through the sheer stupidity of the story. (It is impossible to prove if this will work because for it to melt the brain someone would have to watch Ace Ventura Jr.: Pet Detective therfor proving they had no brain to start with).
Other movies expected from Warner Bros. in the next year are "17 Again" staring Zac Efron, "The Box" which is reported to be a two hour bullet time shot of a cardboard box blowing in the wind, "Scooby-Doo: In the Beginning" and "Mortal Kombat vs. The D.C. Universe"(Don't ask me it's listed under upcoming projects)

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