Monday, February 16, 2009

Request: 725 Million Dollars for giant robot

Dear Bill and Melinda Gates foundation,

I would like to request a 725 million dollar educational grant in order to build a Gundan. This will be an excellent teaching tool as it will teach people to fear me, an important lesson. Below is the price list of each part according to the Japanese Science Portal.


These numbers do not include the cost of labor to build the machine but I believe that there is considerable room for improvements on this cost.
As the founder of Microsoft I hope that you can get me a copy of windows 7 rather than Vista. I hope that this will reduce the load on the computer so rather than needing IBM's Blue Gene supercomputer I can use my laptop. This alone will same 1,550,000 dollars.
It also seems likely that the gas turbine engines are overpriced at 52 million each. since the 7 of these make up nearly half the cost.
These savings will allow me to hire the engineers it will require to build my Gundan as well as the foundations for the secret lair.
I can even offer you a small partnership in my enterprises which use this Gundan. I believe that there are several small African countries which will be excellent places to consolidate power, and their diamond mines should help to fun my other plans.
There are of course a couple of small things left off this robot, and I will be happy to supply them. The cockpit will not be large so I believe that I can use the wall mounted air conditioner from my bedroom to ensure my comfort and I believe I have a ten meter long laser sword in one of the boxes in my basement.
I have not yet decided if I prefer a mini gun or a rocket launcher on the other arm. Both have their advantages. Finally I will wait to add the jump jets. The stability of this giant robot is already somewhat in question and I would not want to risk jumping over any buildings until it was tested more fully.
I understand that the economy is a bit weak right now and I hope that this slum has not put a damper on your charitable giving Mr. Gates. I would also like to remind you to look carefully into the spinning lights which I have enclosed in this package as a sign of my affection for you and your lovely wife.

Sincerely, Professor Slim


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