Top 5 Science Fiction Rumors I Made Up

There are always rumors flying around the Internet, and sometimes they even turn out to be true, but often the most interesting are those that have no basis in reality at all, yet they still serve a purpose as a starting point for interesting conversations and new ways of thinking. Here are a few rumors that I just made up in hopes of starting an Internet wide conversation.

5. Scifi's Flash Gordan to get big screen adaption
Though Flash Gordan was unable to gather an audience on the Scifi channel executives believe that it is the perfect vehicle for them to make the jump to producing big budget theatrical releases. Other possibilities which were considered were Mansquito and Chupracabra.

4. George Lucas to make cameo appearance in new J.J Abrams Star Trek Movie
Though rumors are being denied several have reported seeing George Lucas on the set of the new Star Trek movie wearing a red Star Fleet uniform with a large black scorch mark on the front. Neither J.J. Abrams or George Lucas were available for comment.




3. Kevin Sorbo to play Spiderman in Spiderman 4
After negotiations with Spiderman star Tobey Maquire fell through a few days ago names began to be circulated to replace him in the superhero franchise. Those names included, Orlando Bloom, Ben Afleck, and Jean Claude Van Damme but executives have seemingly come to the decision to use Kevin Sorbo, best known for playing Herculie's, as the Webcrawler.
Check here for more.

2. Wonder Woman Revealed to be a Robot
In an attempt to draw more readers to the Wonder Woman comics D.C. writers have decided to reveal in an upcoming issue that Princess Diana is, and always was, A robot. This shock to comic book fans is said to have been foreshadowed by William Moulton Marston as early as 1943.
"I'm very excited to be the one D.C. decided to be the one to reveal this longtime secret," said Dennis O'Neil current writer of Princess Diana: Wonder Woman.
D.C. has not yet said if the title of the upcoming books will be changed to Pricness Dianan: Wonder Robot.

1. Uwi Boll to write and direct next Batman Movie
"We believe that this award winning director deserves a chance to direct higher profile movies," one executive at Warner Brothers said.
Uwi is reported to be excited about the chance to put his own special spin on the Batman franchise and is already soliciting funds from contacts in Germany.
(The really sad part is someone thought of this first. I found it while finishing this post)

Request: 725 Million Dollars for giant robot

Dear Bill and Melinda Gates foundation,

I would like to request a 725 million dollar educational grant in order to build a Gundan. This will be an excellent teaching tool as it will teach people to fear me, an important lesson. Below is the price list of each part according to the Japanese Science Portal.


These numbers do not include the cost of labor to build the machine but I believe that there is considerable room for improvements on this cost.
As the founder of Microsoft I hope that you can get me a copy of windows 7 rather than Vista. I hope that this will reduce the load on the computer so rather than needing IBM's Blue Gene supercomputer I can use my laptop. This alone will same 1,550,000 dollars.
It also seems likely that the gas turbine engines are overpriced at 52 million each. since the 7 of these make up nearly half the cost.
These savings will allow me to hire the engineers it will require to build my Gundan as well as the foundations for the secret lair.
I can even offer you a small partnership in my enterprises which use this Gundan. I believe that there are several small African countries which will be excellent places to consolidate power, and their diamond mines should help to fun my other plans.
There are of course a couple of small things left off this robot, and I will be happy to supply them. The cockpit will not be large so I believe that I can use the wall mounted air conditioner from my bedroom to ensure my comfort and I believe I have a ten meter long laser sword in one of the boxes in my basement.
I have not yet decided if I prefer a mini gun or a rocket launcher on the other arm. Both have their advantages. Finally I will wait to add the jump jets. The stability of this giant robot is already somewhat in question and I would not want to risk jumping over any buildings until it was tested more fully.
I understand that the economy is a bit weak right now and I hope that this slum has not put a damper on your charitable giving Mr. Gates. I would also like to remind you to look carefully into the spinning lights which I have enclosed in this package as a sign of my affection for you and your lovely wife.

Sincerely, Professor Slim


For more information check here.

Kasparov Battles Robot

This day in 1996 Gary Kasparov sat down across the chess board with "Deep Blue" to fight for the future of mankind. According to the rules of this engagement if Kasparov won the robots would forgo taking over all human government for ten years.
In the first match of this epic battle "Deep Blue" won with the help of the human turncoats at IMB, but Kasparov made a heroic comeback winning the second game and forcing the computer into a draw on the third and fourth match.
In the end Kasparov won the battle with 4 games to 2 but few humans understood just how close they came to a robotriciy.
Kasparov basked in the glory of his victory for the next 9 years until his abrupt retirement from chess in 2005. Many suggest that the knowledge of the upcoming rematch in 2006 was the primary reason for his retirement but no proof has been found.
Instead of Chess, in 2006 the competition was musical, between the robots and Yo Yo Ma the battle ended abruptly as Yo Yo Ma smashed his cello into the robot repeatedly upon hearing the computer play Rachmaninov's Concerto at nearly twice the speed of any human player. The computers were confused by this irrational outburst, but as their competitor was unable to continue they admitted defeat.
Although some believe that this was against the spirit of the competition, but others have argued that the robots attempt to elect Al Gore as president violated their side of the agreement.

I want a Killer Robot

The military has been using robots in battle for years, and while the technology is still in its infancy with the correct computer programs and a few robots I could truly enjoy myself.
The scene I see is like this, I am sitting in a office in a black suit and tie. On the computer screen I am watching a news story of yet another bank robbery by robots armed with machine guns. Standing in the background is Batman looking as confused as everyone else. How is he supposed to stop a robot with sensors that go 360 degrees and no fear? Even the Batmobile has trouble because they have rockets built in and my robots can be replaced far faster than the Batmobile.
The Batman vows to hunt down the man controlling these robots but I know that I will not make the same mistakes as the Joker. I have nothing personal against Batman, and my robots won't kill anyone. Their guns have been set to avoid hitting anyone unless it is absolutely necessary and even then they aim for knees.
My dreams of becoming a batman villain aside though robots in combat are becoming more common. American more and more expect wars to be painless and one of the solutions to that is to put robots in the field. They may cost money but no one has to call the robot's family if he is blown up.

Thanks to Seth Wolfshorndl and Randy Rustin for the batman drawing. Check out Seth's Deviant art page.
for more information

For more information on the military's kill robots there is an article here.